Love Out Of Lust
by mirrorOfsin
Summary: Sometimes the impossible did happen.


For the downtonexchange on LJ

Recipient: duckface666 (LJ)

Warnings: Sex. A bit of profanity.

Disclaimer: The characters depicted belong to their respective owners. I make no profit from this endeavour.

**Love Out of Lust**

A small blush crept down Cora's neck as she felt O'Brien's fingers brush against her skin as she slid another pin into her hair. It was accidental and yet it sent an odd thrill through her which made her wonder once more. It was not the first time that she had reacted like this, that had been going on for months now and only intensifying. For years she had never noticed, as if there had been some kind of shield between them. Cora was more than used to having O'Brien's hands on her, undressing and dressing her, but she had been detached from her touch. Now it seemed she felt everything a hundredfold with that barrier no longer there. She found herself longing for her touch whilst at the same time dreading it. Her confusion was taking its toll at night when she lay in bed (most often alone) tossing and turning, closing her eyes only to open them again and stare at the dark. She couldn't stop her mind from replaying little moments between them that should mean nothing and yet… and yet…

"Are you alright milady?"

Damn, Cora thought as she swallowed lightly and tried not to fidget in her seat. She cleared her throat a little, "Yes, thank you O'Brien."

O'Brien didn't take it further thankfully and Cora glanced down at the letters before her. She tried to concentrate on them rather than the way her maid was gently patting her hair to check that it was all secure.

"Anything interesting milady?" O'Brien asked after a small silence descended once again between them.

Cora sighed a little. "Rosamund writes to ask to come here." She saw O'Brien's slight eye-roll at that in the mirror and smiled. "And my cousin from New York has also written to me and sent some photographs…"

"You must miss your family," O'Brien said offhandedly and there is a slight pause. Cora saw her maid bite her bottom lip a little as though she regretted the words and she fiddled with a lock of hair.

"A little," she replied evenly. "Though my family is very much here at Downton."

"Yes, of course milady," O'Brien said quickly and picked up her pace with her mistress' hair. Cora watched her maid in the mirror from beneath her lashes and she kept her voice calm when asked her if she missed her family.

"I suppose so milady," O'Brien gave her a sheepish smile. "Not so much the work, but me brothers and me dad."

"I'm sure they miss you," Cora smiled at her, turning her head to look at her properly.

"Yeah, I guess they do," she said finishing up with Cora's hair.

"You know, if you ever want to go home you can," Cora said suddenly in earnest, taking one of Sarah's hands into her own. They had been doing that lately as well, touching more often in comfort or joy. Cora would take her hand and squeeze it gently or sometimes Sarah would rest her hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you milady but I'm fine here," she said looking down at their linked hands.

"But if you do," Cora insisted and Sarah gave her an odd look.

"Sounds like you're tryin' to get rid of me, milady," she said lightly but it didn't quite cover the unease she felt.

"Oh of course not!" Cora rapidly assured her, squeezed her hand tightly. "I would never want to be without you!"

The rather strong outburst made them both awkward, the air was strained with a charged tension as they just stared at each other. Cora found breathing difficult when O'Brien looked at her like that, her eyes so beautifully bright and the way her hand held hers.

"I would never leave you, milady," Sarah murmured, her thumb absently stroking over Cora's knuckles. She swallowed hard, all the emotions she felt for this woman rose up making it difficult for her to speak.

A knock came at the door and Cora dropped her hand startled and they sprang apart as if they had been doing something wrong. Not thinking over that, Cora called in whoever it was whilst Sarah moved away and busied herself with picking up things around the room. Anna came in with a small smile.

"The Dowager is here my lady," she said and glanced at the countess and her maid as she noticed the silence between them.

"I will be down in a moment," Cora replied with a forced a mile and Anna bobbed her head before leaving. Cora rose to her feet and noticed that O'Brien was busy putting things away.

"I will have your dress ready for your change," Sarah mumbled finally looking at her and Cora felt her skin flush anew.

"Yes," Cora moved towards the door. "I should go and see Mama as you know how she hates to be kept waiting."

Sarah let out a breath she had been holding then pulled herself together and picked up the laundry, shaking her head. It was ridiculous to think that Cora had meant anything more in her statement than friendship. It wasn't a declaration of love or anything and Sarah needed to strictly remind herself that whatever she felt for the countess, it was never going to be returned so she should stop behaving like a soppy kitchen maid. Unfortunately she couldn't quite erase the countess' touch from her skin and that small ache inside of her when she thought about it.

-/-

Sarah sighed heavily as she finished pulling out several boxes from the back of Cora's wardrobe. She was searching for a blue silk scarf with a white rose print that Cora had mentioned in passing earlier that morning. She could have sworn it had been with the rest of the scarfs but then remembered that Cora had not worn that particular one for a while and so took to searching for it whilst the countess was with the dowager that morning.

Sitting on the small stool she had been standing on she opened the first box and found it contained some old letters and photographs. She resisted the urge to look and opened another and found some scarfs in there. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she found it and pulled it out. She rose to her feet and placed it on the bed carefully but as she turned, her hip bumped into the bedside table knocking over a small pot of hand cream that was there.

"Bloody 'ell," she cursed as it rolled under the bed and she dropped to her knees and peered under to locate it.

Cora hummed lightly as she moved along the corridor to her room. The dowager had other business to attend to that morning and so ended her visit earlier than expected. Her business most likely something that involved going head to head with Cousin Isobel, and Cora was just glad to have some time to herself. She paused when she saw her door ajar and when she pushed open she took in the sight of her wardrobe door open and boxes on the floor. She felt a moment's panic until she came around and stopped short. She bit down on her lip, feeling an odd rush course through her as her eyes drifted over half of her maid that was sticking out from under her bed. She couldn't stop her eyes straying over her form although the unenticing and shapeless black dress left it all to the imagination. Well, that was precisely the reason for why it was made – to not attract any attention but it wasn't working now. In fact it made Cora was to know more than she should have a right to want to know about what was underneath the black material.

Oh God, Cora closed her eyes for a moment and then, with her heart in her throat, Cora swallowed before she cleared her throat to make her presence know. She instantly regretting it as Sarah's body jerked and she heard her bang her head against the bed underneath.

"Ow!"

Sarah scooted out, her face flushed and in one hand clutched the cream pot and the other rubbed her head. "Milady?"

"I'm sorry O'Brien, I did not realise you'd be here," Cora said feeling flustered as she noticed Sarah's blush covered her neck and dipped down to her chest… she drew her eyes up and instead looked around the room. "Are you alright?"

"I was searching for your scarf," Sarah said quickly getting to her feet and point to the bed with a tilt of her head. She put the cream back and tried to calm her racing heart. "I'm fine milady, just a bump that's all."

"Hm," Cora cast her a worried glance before she reached out and held the scarf in her hands. "Oh yes. Thank you, I hope if didn't cause you too much trouble?" she added looking at all the boxes.

"No milady," Sarah said and picked up a box, stepping up on the stool and pushed the box towards the back on the top shelf. Cora bent down and picked up an open box, sitting on her bed as she fingered through the contents.

"My photographs of New York," she murmured more to herself than to Sarah. "I should put the ones I received today in here…"

But she made no move to get them or indicated for Sarah to either. Instead she closed the box and handed it to Sarah who put it away. When Cora bent down to pick up another box Sarah protested but Cora fixed her with a sardonic look.

"I can bend and pick up boxes O'Brien," she said and noticed the way Sarah blushed slightly.

"Of course milady, I just don't want you to tire…"

Cora was touched as always by her maid's care for her and she guessed that was half the reason for the way she felt around her. She handed her put another box and they quietly worked together to put Cora's wardrobe right. As Cora passed the boxes up to her their fingers would occasionally brush sending more tremors in the air around them and from her position on the stool Sarah couldn't quite stop her eyes from dropping to take sneaking glances down Cora's dress.

Bleedin' 'ell this had to stop, Sarah snapped at herself before briskly finishing up and Cora went back to perch on her bed. Cora needed to sit to stop tremble that made its way through her body. Her heart was racing, she felt hot and so very aware of the other woman.

Sarah looked over at her mistress and saw that she looked a little pink in the face, taking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it. Was she ill? Sarah worried suddenly at the thought of her lady suffering whilst she had been too busy letting her eyes wander.

"Milady, are you sure you're well?" she crossed over to where she sat and pressed her hand against her forehead.

The touch seared her and Cora forgot to breathe and then did so in a rush. She slowly levelled her eyes with her maid, poor O'Brien look so concerned and once again Cora's heart swelled. No one had looked out for her as much as this woman did.

Without saying anything she took Sarah's hand from her forehead and slowly but surely led her hand across her cheek and slid her fingers down her throat. She let her hand go but Sarah's fingers remained at her throat for a moment longer before she carefully sat down next to her and Cora turned to face her. There were no words at that precise time to explain, everything seemed to be evident in the way they gazed at each other, barely able to breathe and realising how big a risk this was.

"Milady…" Sarah breathed weakly as Cora gently touched her face.

Cora's thoughts were spinning in her head, she should not be doing this it was so very wrong but soon those thoughts were silenced as she felt Sarah's hand cover hers and she felt that keen longing spike through her. She did not care right now for what was acceptable, she just wanted to give in and before she balked she leaned in to gently brush her lips against O'Brien's.

Sarah couldn't breathe, couldn't move as she was frozen on the spot. Her mind went blank whilst her senses went into overload. The kiss was brief and only a whisper of more to come as Cora drew back, taking her hand from her face and stared at her with her eyes wide and her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Since O'Brien had made no move to reciprocate, Cora's heart plummeted and now she felt fear surge up. "I apo-"

Sarah quickly pressed her mouth against her, stopping the apology as she had seen fear cloud Cora's features and after a second Cora slowly kissed her back. They kissed once, twice and then the third time which lasted longer and Sarah's hands that had been laying lifeless in her lap moved to hold the countess' waist and shifted on the bed so that occasionally their bodies would brush against each other.

Cora made a small noise in the back of her throat as she felt Sarah's tongue lick her bottom lip and slowly she opened her mouth allowing her access. Sarah moaned as her tongue tangled with Cora's and she tasted of the strawberry jam she had eaten earlier on scones with the dowager and something more. She slid one hand up her back whilst she felt Cora's fingers caress her jaw and neck as they moved into her hair. Their position however was awkward and moving back to lie down they turned on their sides facing one another.

Cora couldn't quite believe that she had done that – that _they_ had done that – that but instead of crashing guilt she just burned for more. She offered O'Brien a little smile as her hand played with hers between them.

"What now milady?" Sarah asked finally in the silence as they regained their breaths. Cora snagged her lip for a moment trying to process her thoughts but being so close to Sarah made her just want to kiss her all over again.

"I'm not sure," she whispered and saw a flash of anxiety in Sarah's eyes. "I want…" she searched for the words. "This… I just need to think."

Sarah felt her heart constrict a little at her words but automatically scolded herself. She hardly expected the countess to suddenly profess her undying love and bloody hell she needed to sort her own thoughts out so she tried to smile at her.

They lay there for some time as a familiar ease settled over them. There was time to talk later and so Sarah just held her hand and waited.

-/-

As it turned out Cora couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day with her mind and body reliving those kisses over and over again. In the end she found Mrs Hughes and asked to send O'Brien to her. Within minutes of her request her lady's maid was there and Cora only had to outstretch her hand for her before she was caught up in another storm of kisses.

Everything else be damned, this was her moment and she only just realised how much she wanted this. How much she wanted this woman. O'Brien needed her and wanted her so much more than anyone else ever had. Her children no longer needed her and Robert… she loved him still, she always would, but things had change and so had she. Besides if her instincts were right (and they usually were with matters like this) then she knew his affection for her was waning. He was distant when he came to her bed, which was a rare occurrence on its own, and she was sure that he thought of someone else just as she often had thought of Sarah.

She couldn't blame him and neither was this a way to hurt him. They were both to blame, out growing each other but she didn't feel guilt as she traced Sarah's curves above her unforgiving dress. Instead her heart flickered with a new flame and she was ready to let it blaze.

-/-

"You look a little flustered, my dear," the Dowager Countess said peering at Cora who immediately felt her cheeks heat up again.

"I am a little warm," Cora said easily to which Violet frowned a little.

"I do hope you are feeling well?"

It seemed her health was something they often questioned since her close call with the Spanish flu however long ago that had been.

"Yes, I am well," Cora smiled reassuringly and tried not to drift off into her own world again. Those thoughts certainly had no place right now.

As she found a seat between her eldest and middle daughters she saw Rosamund glance at her and tensed a little. If there was anyone that could sense anything out of place, it was her and when she looked at her sister-in-laws face there was a faint smile as if she knew the truth. Impossible, Cora chided herself but nevertheless felt a small jolt of fear run through her. The rest of the evening she barely listened to the conversation that flowed past her, she was utterly lost in her own thoughts that involved her maid.

"Isn't that right, Cora?"

Her head snapped up at the mention of her name and turned to see everyone looking at her. It had been Rosamund who had asked the question and from the amusement in her eyes it had been directed at her on purpose. Cora gave her a hard look to which Rosamund's smile deepened and Cora had to then ask them to repeat the question but Edith made a comment that turned the conversation away from her and onto something new.

Eventually everyone agreed to retire and when Cora made her way to her room she waited for O'Brien to come to her. Robert had hinted not to expect him and she merely nodded as it no longer bothered her.

She moved with restless excitement around until O'Brien came in and she smiled warmly, motioning her to close the door and she heard the snick of the lock. The air around them thrummed with anticipation and Sarah crossed the room towards her. They smiled hesitantly and Cora took one of Sarah's hands into her own squeezing it gently. Sarah's arm encircled her waist and brought her closer and Cora leaned in so her lips brushed the other woman's briefly. They kissed lightly, fleetingly, unlike earlier until Sarah cupped her face and Cora's mouth opened as she felt Sarah's tongue brush her bottom lip teasingly.

That's all it took and they both surged together, kissing vehemently and excitement rippled through them. Unfortunately now was not the time and when they heard a distant door slam they froze. Sarah deliberately took a step back from her and took in a breath to steady herself but she couldn't quite drag her eyes away from Cora's heaving chest or wide-eyes.

"I've gotta undress you," she said and wordlessly Cora gave a small nod. All her senses were alight and she wished to just turn back to the woman and have her kiss her till her head spun. Sarah worked quickly though she longed to take her time undressing this beautiful woman. Lust still burned within her and she knew that the Countess would not protest should she suddenly pull her onto the bed and do everything that they so desperately wanted.

"Sarah?" Cora breathed, her voice held a slight tremble and Sarah realised she had been stroking her thigh. She blinked and removed her hand much to Cora's disappointment and made short work of her other stocking. Sarah helped her don her nightdress, though she was only going to take it off again, Sarah thought to herself and when she caught Cora's eye it was obvious she was thinking the same. Except that that was as far as they could take it right now, not when everyone was still up and about in the house.

They agreed for Sarah to come back once they were sure that everybody had retired to their rooms just in case Rosamund fancied a midnight talk. Meantime as she waited in her room, Sarah felt her body quiver with eagerness and longing, moving restlessly in her room wishing for the clock to move faster.

-/-

Cora tried waiting on her bed but ended up getting up to pace. She had been right in thinking that Rosamund had wanted to pay her a visit and was thankful that her sister-in-law had been tired out and went to back to her room after spending only an hour with her. She loved Rosamund truly but she didn't need her quick assessing eyes to notice that Cora was far too animated and prone to blushing at unplanned points as her thoughts slipped to all the things that were to come.

When she heard the door open she breathed out a sigh of relief to see Sarah come inside and she enveloped in an embrace that sent her head spinning. She whispered her name against her mouth, delighted that Sarah had changed into a nightdress that was loose fitting and light, allowing her to feel her body.

Sarah gently pushed her back onto the bed, sliding above her and proceeded to kiss a path down her neck and between her breasts over the thin material, her hands roaming under her nightdress to stroke her thighs. She grabbed the hem and pulled it up over her head and Cora mimicked her action with her nightdress.

They were both drunk on this delightful madness but they slowed down and Cora caressed her body, rolling Sarah under her.

"I did fear that, earlier, Rosamund had begun to suspect something," Cora told her as she kissed her neck and Sarah rolled her eyes. Cora untied Sarah's hair and she ran her fingers through the soft mass.

"She's always causin' trouble."

"Hm," Cora ran the tip of her tongue over Sarah's nipple as she moved down. Sarah took in a small breath and curled her fingers in Cora's hair. She wasn't going to tell her about Thomas and whatever his suspicions might be nor did she want to think about either Rosamund or him whilst Cora's tongue was doing what it was.

Although she didn't want to stop her, Sarah wanted to explore Cora first and soon Cora found herself once again underneath Sarah who took her turn in teasing her breasts at first with her fingers and then latched her lips around one nipple and sucked gently then harder as Cora's body arched. She paid the same attention on the other whilst her hand slipped down and stroked her thigh waiting for Cora to open her legs. Once she did, Sarah carefully pressed her fingers against her, inwardly groaning at how hot and wet she was. Cora shuddered at the touch, parting her thighs more and brought Sarah's mouth up to kiss her, whimpering against her as she felt her fingers slip inside her. Sarah thrust her fingers in and out slowly, her thumb circling her clit but soon Cora was moaning for more and she picked up the pace till the countess came hard, clenching around her fingers and holding her tightly against her. Her body became limp and Sarah smiled as she pressed breathless kisses against her neck and collarbone.

Sarah removed her hand, licking at her fingers which made Cora's breath hitch in her chest as she watched her though half-lidded eyes. She pulled the other woman back down into her arms and ran her hands down her back, arms and stomach as she cuddled up to her. Then Cora's touch which had been light and comforting became more definite and her kisses were feverish as she moved so that she could lie over Sarah.

"Cora," Sarah choked as she felt her bite her nipple slightly and then suck hard causing a splendid shock of pain and then overriding pleasure to course through her. Cora's smile was wicked as she looked up at her from where her head lay against her chest.

"Quid pro quo, O'Brien," she teased and Sarah certainly had no complaints there.

Cora eased herself between her thighs and stroked up till her fingers lightly grazed over Sarah's sex. Sarah bit her lip as she felt one long finger slid down her wet folds and she clenched the bed sheets as Cora slid in a finger in shallowly, teasingly, so that Sarah moved her hips telling her exactly what she wanted.

Cora added another and began a small pace with her fingers much like Sarah had done to her but she wanted to surprise her and so moved down her body and with her hear fluttering in her chest, she removed her fingers from her. Sarah groaned at the loss but then her eyes flew open as she felt Cora's tongue tease against her.

"_Fuck_," she breathed, her fingers tangling in Cora's curls and her hips rocked against her mouth. Cora took that as a good sign and repeated the action and then dared to imitate what her fingers had done causing Sarah to bite back a cry. Cora swirled her tongue over her and then inside as she circled Sarah's clit with her finger and by the way the woman was writing on the sheets she knew she was close. Sarah came with more intensity than she had done before and couldn't stop herself from saying her name over and over in a chanting prayer.

Cora lapped up every last drop and then scooted back over her, kissing her fiercely and Sarah could taste herself upon Cora's tongue and lips. They breathed heavily both still giddy from what had just happened and Cora moved behind Sarah to draw her back against her front.

Sarah smiled and brought Cora's hand up to cradle it against her chest and then glanced at the bedside table. She reached out and took the photograph that Cora had left there in her hand and shifted a little so that she was on her back. New York never looked so appealing just then as she thought about the city where they could just be there without anyone knowing…

"I'd like to see New York," Sarah murmured and Cora brushed some of her hair off of her face, kissing her cheek softly.

"I would take you," she said and Sarah's lips turned up at the corners. It wasn't likely that she would ever see New York but then again she had never expected that she would actually have the woman she had desired for years now in her arms. Sarah dropped the photograph and turned back to the countess and knew that if life had taught her anything, it was that sometimes the impossible did happen, like love the bloomed between a mistress and her maid.

_fin._


End file.
